You Can’t Celebrate Everything… You Alcoholic

Celebration has its place. 

So does alcohol. So do invitations. And so, as we all know, does the misery.

But to put these things in there place is simple- to some of us.

Well, celebration comes post-achievement. Once you have done something worthwhile for yourself or another, by way of progressing the life in question, you owe a psychological debt to celebrate the moment.

6 months Sober? Celebrate.

She said yes? Celebrate.

Promoted at work? Celebrate. More if your idea led to more business.

Alcohol. It’s flammable. So save it for occasions of proven strength.

You win a fight? Have a drink.

Stood up to your boss? Have a drink.

Tough day at work but you stuck it out? Have a drink.

If you didn’t, don’t go crying to the gasoline. 

Please, hit the gym. Make sure you punch something or throw someone, but don’t hit the bottle.

If you hit the bottle when you fail, you’re only celebrating failure.


One can drink themselves into the abyss. 

Be sure to let me know what you find there.

Then there are those who invite others to “commiserate” with them.

This is foolish.

Only lovers have success in such situations. And both must be careful in how their cards are played lest they scare a potential lover, already down with the sulks, far far away with their desperation, stories of loneliness, and jests at despair.

What is absurd is buying a girl a drink and then depressing her. What is absurd is drinking too much to yourself and buying no one else one. What is absurd is achieving something and not proposing a toast.

There is a hill.

It is made of all you have done.

At the top of it you stand.

Is there nothing in your hand?

If the bad people get their comeuppance,

Shouldn’t the good get a glass,

To finally take the edge off,

To finally settle in,

To at last,


And rest,

Well lived?

Be well.

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